I spent my saturday night cooking chicken breast, fish, broccoli, asparagus, sweet potatoes and brown rice. Yep... she's a wild one folks - staying up late into the night cooking the staples of my diet so that I have meals provided for the next 1-2 weeks. I finally crashed into bed around 2am, when most people are just getting home from the bars, I was putting my feet up after stinking up the kitchen horribly (as I mentioned before... these foods do not really smell great). Then today at work I had to heat up my meal which consisted of Orange Roughy, broccoli and a bit of brown rice. People were walking around the office saying "pew! What is that smell?!?!" Ha ha... it was my food! If I have to eat it the least they can do is smell it! And by the way co-workers... get used to it... you get 13 more weeks of my stinkbomb meals!

This morning I had an epic shoulder workout with Em... she sent me to the corner to cry like a baby and suck my thumb. Who would've guessed that 2lb dumbbell circles could make you whine like a baby pig?!?! Em and I have really done well in the last couple of weeks - I am so glad to have my 'fitness friend' to train with. TJ laughs at us, he says I am like a 12 year old middle schooler... most of my sentences start with... "Em and I were cracking up about...", "Em said...", Em and I are gonna...", "Em and I did...", "Em and I were talking about...", "Em told me..."... anyway, you get the picture. The moral of the story is that having a friend to go through this with is key - it is the ONE thing that I believe is keeping me sane! So... here's a cheers to having a great 'fitness friend'... (as I tip my protein shaker).

Last night TJ and I went out for dinner to a sushi restaurant, this was to be a 'cheat meal' for me. I ordered a cup of miso soup, seaweed salad and the "blackjack roll" (which consisted of albacore and spicy tuna, then topped with more albacore). When it arrived it was served in a very untraditional way for sushi - it was decorated and topped to look very extravagant and it was floating in about 3mm of a mysterious yellow colored sauce. Of course, this sauce caused me to spiral into a state of hysteria. I didn't know if this was an oil based sauce or something less harmful. I refused to touch it until the server could verify the makeup of this sauce (preferably by calories, carb and sugar count). She informed me it was Ponzu sauce (a type of citrus soy sauce). Whew! Thank goodness! I wasn't sure it I was going to be able to eat it otherwise! TJ ordered the "heart attack roll", sounds healthy, huh?!?! He also ordered some Pad Thai. The "heart attack roll arrived", it was deep fried peppers that were stuffed with gobs of cream cheese and spicy tuna all topped with a spicy mayo sauce... my reaction when it arrived was a gasp for air. OMG! How could he eat that?!?! My nutrition calculator almost overheated as I mentally calculated what he was consuming. Then onto the Pad Thai... well I think I was in a state of delerium because he started to resemble a snake swallowing a whole mouse as he ate the Pad Thai. I had to look away, I couldn't watch it! I explained to him that I am so sensitive, even to the sight of carbs that to watch someone consume a large amount obviously disturbs me in a great way.

I feel like trying to eat out is like navigating a landmine, you have to dodge all of the buried carb and sugar traps and no server, cook or restaurant owner can be trusted. Even though I made relatively good choices last night I woke up this morning feeling bloated from the sodium in the soy sauce - are you kidding me?!?!? Three weeks ago I would have just been getting started on my sodium intake for one meal with a tsp of soy sauce - what a different world I am living in now.

Well, as you can read by my post title I may not have the highest self esteem currently. Actually the tub of goo feeling was something that I was feeling yesterday but am not necessarily feeling any more. There is this phenomenon that Em and I have been discussing and it has to do with your fat feeling more "liquidy" before you shed/lose it. Anyone out there know this feeling? I am actually gonna do a little research and find out all of the physiological changes that are occurring to cause this feeling. It is a very odd thing though. I had a minor anxiety attack yesterday wondering if I was gonna be able to really be in competition shape by the show date - you kinda freak out a bit when you realize you are on stage in a bikini that resembles more of a sparkly loin cloth. Anyone who knows me knows that I am only a little bit type A (ok, A+...) but I just want to do well - for me it is generally always about giving it 110%. I have been seeing GREAT results over the last 2 1/2 weeks so I just have to trust the journey and put in the hard work.

On a side note, my shoes arrived today. Woohoo! The DIVA is back and she is here to stay for the next 3 1/2 months! My dogs were intrigued by my clear stripper shoes, they sniffed the heck out of them right when I pulled them outta the box! Lets just say that choosing the right shoes was more complicated than I thought, there were all kinds to choose from and some were CRAZY! Strippers have to have a degree in "Clear Shoeology" to navigate the webpages and make decisions. The shoes are ordered from a site that also supplies stripper shoes, because honestly - who else buys clear platform heels?

I have to start my posing practices soon- I have no idea what I am doing yet and I don't want to look like a white girl trying to do the robot on stage. Rumor has it you can get pretty sore from doing the posing practices... ok, like that's is a surprise - what don't I get sore from right now?!?!? I am a chronic exerciser and my life revolves around protein, the occasional piece of Ezekiel bread tastes like a Krispy Kreme donut already (no, I am not exaggerating here). Anyway, thats about it. Right now I am trying to muster up the energy to get some good cardio in...

What wheels of steel you might ask? Wondering if I am referring to my legs (haha! not yet, those resemble Whoppers still :) (thats for you Em :) I am referring to weights... The odd thing I have been experiencing is that I am starting to 'crave' lifting weights. Even though I am tired and have been residually sore for that last 2 weeks straight I look forward to lifting. There is something that is really empowering about strength training. It kinda cracks me up when I am in the free weight room and I am surrounded by a bunch of chimps who go back and forth between bench and bicep curls (yes, I see these chimps doing this just about everytime they come in, at this point I am not sure they know how to do any other exercises). They resemble bloated potatoes with toothpick legs, it actually amuzes me and sometimes I wonder, "how do they not fall over?" they are so imbalanced like weeble wobbles. Then on the other side of the gym you have the 'cardio bunnies' (as Em and I call them). They are bouncing up and down on their ellipticals and stair steppers - come on girls... increase the resistance and you won't be bouncing- how about a little HIIT in heezy?!?! I love being one of the only women who comes into the gym to do some hardcore lifting - I think the boys don't know whether they should be scared or attracted. Either way they are intrigued... but they better not mess with me when I workin with the wheels of steel.

For all of my family and friends who continue to read my blog all I have to say is take the time to Google the effects of Orange Roughy on bowel movements - its more than just the occasional diarrhea it actually offers a very exciting adventure and perplexing outcomes... my case wasn't nearly as bad as some of what you might come across when you read up on this but none the less has been an interesting experience, anyone reading this may feel intrigued enough to sit down to a plate of Orange Roughy this evening... just watch your back, this delicious fish will take over your body.

I just finished up my first full week of training since I was sick the week prior. It was a long and tiring week, some mornings I would rather have army crawled out of bed instead of walked but I realized that would actually expend more energy so I quickly bagged that idea. Instead I resemble a shuffling robot first thing in the morning. This week I have been lifting heavy (4 sets of 8 reps for each exercise). I strength trained 6 days this week and did cardio 6 times this week... no wonder I am tired! One thing I realized is that if you allow fatigue to be your excuse it will turn into FATigue, so although you have to give your body what it needs (rest, adequate nutrition, etc) you HAVE to keep pushing through. Yesterday was a crazy workout day, Em and I endured most of it together, thankfully- it is soooo nice to have someone who completely understands everything you are experiencing! I tallied the time up and technically I worked out for over 3 hours (between bootcamp, over an hour of interval cardio and walking the dogs for an hour) - who does that?!?!? I guess me... but today is an active rest day... I wonder if breathing while sleeping counts as "active rest"? Ha, ha!

Yes, you did read that right. I am having a love affair with protein powder. It's still pretty early in our relationship but it's like we can't get enough of each other. I think about protein powder in between meals and dream about all the flavors I can have and how delicious they will taste. You know how things are when you first start a relationship, so whimsical and exciting and then things begin to settle in and you start to get annoyed and tired of one another, well I am sure that is how this relationship with protein powder will progress but for now I am enjoying the excitement (protein powder has been treating my body right). It's pretty pathetic that I am feeling this way... but at this point I am spending more time with protein powder than I am with TJ!