Well between the copious amounts of rain/snow and the swim workouts this week I feel like I have been under the sea! Constantly drenched. The weather is still serving to aggravate me in a big way and there isn't much I can do about it which also angers me. I have my fingers crossed for nice weather on Sat afternoon so that I can get a long outdoor ride in. So far, I have gotten in two swim workouts this week and have another planned for tomorrow. This is good news, gold star for me because last week wasn't a good swim week.

Well, this may shock the entire world (or whomever is out there stumbling across this post) but I am blogging again. Yes, after almost four months of being MIA. I can't even begin to describe what my life has been like over the last several months. Basically, STRESSED. Between crazy work hours/drama, living in my grandparents basement and trying to fit in all my Ironman training I have been STRESSED. There really isn't too much in my life I can complain about, all of these things are leading to positive outcomes. Regardless, I always seem to "bite off more than I can chew". I can't figure out why I do this. I asked myself as I drove to work today... "self, what is your motivation for having a gigantic goal always looming in the horizon?" Seriously, why isn't it good enough to just relax every once in a while? I guess as I get older I am realizing that it might be ok to just slow down. Enough of the grumbling... on to the updates. Here are the high points;

• We are 12 days away from closing on our house... FINALLY. :)


• Ironman is 10 weeks away (trying not to poop my pants as I type that)


• The weather is starting show signs of spring... kinda


• Work is slowing down somewhat


• TJ became an engineer for the railroad!!

I think the 5 months of living in a dark basement during winter, the cold/rainy weather, still grieving over the loss of Ruby, stressing over house related things, TJ going to Engineer school, demands at work increasing has all contributed to my half year "funk". The glimmers of sunshine that peek through occasionally and the final countdown of moving and settling into our own space with more privacy is now contributing to a brighter outlook on the days. I am glad to start feeling like myself a bit more than I have been.

As we enter a new year and wonder what is in store for 2011 I think it is only natural to some degree to have some self doubt if there is a looming goal on the horizon. Of course, Ironman is that goal for me. Today I found myself asking "what if I can't make it to the finish line"? I realize that some of this is natural and some self doubt can be the spark of fear to be sure one is prepared to the best of their ability. The fear of not making it to the finish line will serve as a motivator to train consistently. I had an "ok" workout today. rode about 30 miles and instead of doing my short run TJ and I walked Emma for about an hour. Tomorrow will mark the first day I will attend a Masters swim group. I'm not gonna lie, I am nervous. I will probably be the least fast swimmer there and one that has a lower level of endurance in the bunch. The whole reason I want to go to the swim group is because I know it will help my swimming and ultimately my training. It's funny how you can be brought back to feeling like an middle schooler when you get nervous about "not being good enough". Well, there is only one way to get over that... face the fear and be humbled by the process.

Last thing I wanted to type tonight is a recent fortune I received from a fortune cookie. It said, "a goal is just a dream with a deadline". I kinda liked that, so I am sharing it with you.

Well the holidays are finally freakin' over! Why is it that the holiday season evokes such a insurmountable level of stress when it is supposed to be such a joyous season?! I just don't understand that. If you can tell by my title, I have had an interesting last couple of weeks. No... this title has nothing to do with Christmas. It has more to do with my recent training schedule.

Bricks: stacked workouts such as running immediately after cycling. Your legs feel and work like a baby giraffes legs for the first 10-15 minutes but then after that you adjust. Be sure to head right out and get yourself a brick workout in the morning.

Humble Pie: I get this taste in my mouth every time I swim. Funny how one little workout and bring you down to feeling about an inch tall. I also experience a sample of this when I ride by bike for an extended period of time. The female anatomy is quite sensitive on a rock hard, narrow seat.

Shredded Hammies: the feeling that ensues the day or two after straight leg deadlifts. Nuff said.

Well, it's true. I really need to update my profile picture with something that is more in line with my new goal of Ironman. I guess I will have to put that on my "To-Do Scroll" (it's less of a list and more of a scroll at this point). This week, well it was better than last and not too bad. I had to take a mid-week break due to being overly stressed, exhausted and on the verge of getting seriously sick (NO THANK YOU!) However, even on that "rest day" I was at the gym at 6:15am doing a great functional strength circuit with Em, it was just my swim and run I had to cut out after work. This how the story goes. Nicole comes home from work, physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. She decides a short nap would help perk her up for her swim and bike workout. About 30 minutes later she wakes up with a freezing cold set of feet and icicle nose, this was only after 6 or 7 cycles of sweating profusely like a woman in menopause and then shivering like an eskimo outside of his igloo. Then ensued Operation Sleep to Prevent Sickness. This operation lasted MANY hours and interfered with the following work day, in which I arrived 2 hours late to. It did seem to work though, I was feeling much better after work last night and I was able to get my days workouts in;

*45 minute bike ride
*1 hour swim

On top of that I decided I should probably tag another 45 minute run on top of that. Calculator please... yes, that was 2 1/2 hours of working out on a Thursday evening. You've either gotta be crazy or an Ironman in training to do that. Fortunately I am both so it is fitting. This weekend brings a couple of bike rides and a run. Looking forward to feeling accomplished both Saturday and Sunday.

Yep, I'm BAAACCCKKK! I can't believe how time has flown by and so much as happened. Many updates need to be shared;

-Our precious Ruby is in dog heaven (I may have already blogged about this but I can't remember!) This was my primary reason for falling off the face of the earth, I guess I am weaker than I thought and I just couldn't deal with this loss
-We sold our house, are building a new one and currently living with my grandparents
-Work has been crazy stressful (this is somewhat normal but it has been even more stressful than average lately)

So, this blog will now not only follow my Ironman journey but will also be a place where I provide house updates too (since this is such an exciting time for us and is going to be our dream house... I can't believe we are so blessed :)

HOUSE UPDATE:
I met with our architect on Friday, had a few very minor tweaks to our plan. The new plans are being redrawn and will be sent to me Mon or Tues for final sign off. After that they will pursue the building permit through the county, which they expect to have by the end of this coming week. Gasp! It is so freakin' exciting! That means that sometime next week they should start breaking ground, hopefully the weather participates and allows for that darn foundation to get poured! I will post pics of the final plan when I get the revised pics from the architect but for now check out our builders website... he does AH-MAZIN' work! www.byaspenhomes.com

TRAINING UPDATE:

Well.. hehehe. Not quite as intense over the last 6 weeks as planned, that was when my "official" program started. Good news is that I am through with packing, moving, etc (which was by the way extremely stressful because TJ was out of town in Kansas City through the most of it). Bad news is that I am behind in my training and that has affected my confidence in my abilities. The one area I have been most consistent in is my swimming - go figure, the area I would consider my weakest. This is sorta good news. Tomorrow I will be coming to the gym first thing in the morning to swim with the triathlon group. Not quite excited about it, more scared to be honest. These are good swimmers, and I am concerned I am going to make a fool of myself. I have been told I am a better swimmer than I think, but I would say my self esteem isn't all that high when it comes to the swimming right now. A few things that I have done to help myself out this week are that I put my training on my Outlook calendar and will treat it like a meeting. I have to remind myself to take one day at a time, otherwise the task at hand can see overwhelming. Secondly, I am going to focus on stable, consistent and 'real' nutrition. My eating habits have been something less than profoundly nutritious. In fact, my diet could be that bad example diet you hear about all the time. Plenty of refined carbs, LOTS of simple sugars, hardly any protein, relatively no vegetables and non-existent water. Basically, its no wonder that I have been feeling like crap.

Today I came into work and made time for a good workout;
*55 minutes on the TM, intervals (because I am too much of a fat ass to run the entire time)
*30 minutes on the bike (I shouldn't be riding the spin bike in place of my tri bike but I needed a success and the extra energy expenditure)


I am honestly so excited about what is to come in our (TJ and my) lives this year, we have so much to look forward to. I don't want to sit out and not enjoy the ride (no pun intended as I have to adjust to spending many hours on my tri bike and trainer), and I don't want to fail. I can't fail. I would regret it so much if I don't buck up and get my shit in order to make this happen. The major stress moments are over (although I know that more will ultimately come and present themselves). The reality is life is not without stress and it is all about priorities. My priorities are: Ironman Training and saving $$$ for the new house (and in the meantime maintaining my relationships :) Here we go... starting this journey again and I'm hungry for it.

I will leave you with this, some random quote I heard:

"A body in motion wants to keep moving, a body at rest wants to remain resting"

So gosh darn true! When I was training for the figure show all I wanted to do was keep moving, I'm looking forward to seeing good progress with my Ironman training, physically, emotionally and mentally.

This was the quote of the week, "you're not flipper, you're not a dolphin". These were the words so eloquently spoken by my friend Pam. So, here's the background story... we were at the Y after work for a swim workout when we decided to see how fast we could swim 50 yards. After my first attempt Pam asked me if I felt I went as hard as I could. "um ya - I guess?" Apparently, as she pointed out, I wasn't really kicking my legs - oh ya! I thought to myself, I kinda forgot to kick hard. Ok, start over... next time I was kicking my legs and it was more visible. For whatever reason I was casually kicking my legs under the water the first time and you couldn't really see that I was kicking. One of the goals with triathlon swimming is to save your legs for the bike and the run, I guess I took this to the extreme and turned into a dolphin. Lesson learned. :)

Yesterday, was a successful day, one that left me a bit stiff and sore this morning. Emily and I started the Turbulence Training, we met up for a workout in the morning. At lunch I rode my bike for about an hour or so. After work I swam for 35-40 mins with Pam. Generally one likes to spread their workouts out over the week, I, however, seem to cram my weeks workouts into one day. Hence, the soreness and stiffness. Today I am taking it kinda easy, may go out for a short run and I will probably do some cooking later. I will be sure to share any exciting "concoctions" I come up with.