It's the final countdown! I am in the second day of 'peak week'. It has been a VERY interesting mental and emotional deal for me. Let me tell you about yesterday... yesterday I was in a state of euphoria most of the day, until about 4pm. I got home and was doing some figure show "research" on the internet and I kinda had what some would refer to as an out of body experience. This was sooooo odd - first of all what really happened was I had a mental disconnect with what I really looked like and what I thought I looked like. All of the sudden I felt like I look the way I did when I started my training back in January (awwww hell nah!) I got the nervous sweats and got all fidgety thinking that I wasn't ready! So I jumped up and ran down to the mirror in my room downstairs, took all my clothes off and then stood in amazement looking at myself. I even rubbed my eyeballs a little bit because I didn't even believe it was me! I was looking better than I remembered! For a second it was like I forgot what I looked like... so weird.

Last night I had a lot of anxiety, trying to calm myself down to go to sleep was quite a task. I just kept having these visualizations that I was too fat for my suit and my gut was hanging over my suit, etc. Even today I keep thinking I am fat again. Everytime I go to the bathroom I lift up my shirt to take a look and my abs and see if they are still there - why the heck is this happening to me?!?!?! I am experiencing body dysmorphia - NO!!! No, I won't let this happen!

This week is such a weird week... all along I thought to myself, "I can't wait until the last week" and now that it is here I don't want it to be here yet! What is wrong with me?! The other thing that is so weird about this week is that my training and diet are different. For an overview my training is much less rigorous than the weeks prior. Basically you are trying to "flush out the muscles" without inducing muscle damage (that could bring inflammation and retention of fluids). I actually stop working out Thursday morning and pretty much just hang out after that. I feel like I am slacking as far as the exercise is concerned. The food is a whole other issue... I am so overtrained that 1) I have no appetite and 2) any source of meat protein makes me dry-heave and gag. I am literally choking down my dry chicken and trying not to vomit all over myself (insert your own visual here). I am doing everything I can to get as much protein in body as I am supposed to but it is very hard! I have however, been able to eat some carbohydrates this week and that has been a god send! I have a whole new respect for oats and sweet potatoes, or "oatmeal cookies and candied yams" as they taste like to me right about now.

Lastly, I have my suit in my possession! I am planning on doing some posing this evening and will try and get some pics uploaded for ya'll to see (I know, I know... I keep saying that)! I will do my best, I can't sleep anyway so I might as well take some pics and post 'em.