The food demons seem to come out at night. I don't know what it is but every night it is an inner battle with myself, "no, don't eat that!"... "eat less of that".. etc. Really it is crazy. In the morning I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go again, like I can conquer the world, but at night I find myself running from the food demons. I wonder if others have this same battle during contest prep? Not sure, but it sure makes it difficult! I am doing 'ok' with the food. Some days are hard to eat enough, others just not enough protein, other days too much, other days not the right kinds of foods. The other night TJ brought a bunch of junk home, it almost sent me spiraling into a state of depression. Seriously- I almost broke down and started crying. It was so hard to look bread, rolls, chocolate chip cookies and other crap in the face and tell it no. Then the demons come into play and they start trying to help me rationalize, "just a little bite won't hurt", "haven't you ever heard of cheat days - everyone has them", "life is no fun when you deprive yourself". That is my biggest battle right now.

The workouts on the other hand are going ok. It has been a bit difficult to balance all of it with work. I find myself working 70-80hrs/week right now. High stress job, which makes me want to surrender to the pressure and stress but someone I keep trying to move forward, one day at a time. Em has been a great support and a great friend, so nice to have. I will continue this journey and am looking forward to 'crossing the finish line'!