Well, as you can read by my post title I may not have the highest self esteem currently. Actually the tub of goo feeling was something that I was feeling yesterday but am not necessarily feeling any more. There is this phenomenon that Em and I have been discussing and it has to do with your fat feeling more "liquidy" before you shed/lose it. Anyone out there know this feeling? I am actually gonna do a little research and find out all of the physiological changes that are occurring to cause this feeling. It is a very odd thing though. I had a minor anxiety attack yesterday wondering if I was gonna be able to really be in competition shape by the show date - you kinda freak out a bit when you realize you are on stage in a bikini that resembles more of a sparkly loin cloth. Anyone who knows me knows that I am only a little bit type A (ok, A+...) but I just want to do well - for me it is generally always about giving it 110%. I have been seeing GREAT results over the last 2 1/2 weeks so I just have to trust the journey and put in the hard work.

On a side note, my shoes arrived today. Woohoo! The DIVA is back and she is here to stay for the next 3 1/2 months! My dogs were intrigued by my clear stripper shoes, they sniffed the heck out of them right when I pulled them outta the box! Lets just say that choosing the right shoes was more complicated than I thought, there were all kinds to choose from and some were CRAZY! Strippers have to have a degree in "Clear Shoeology" to navigate the webpages and make decisions. The shoes are ordered from a site that also supplies stripper shoes, because honestly - who else buys clear platform heels?

I have to start my posing practices soon- I have no idea what I am doing yet and I don't want to look like a white girl trying to do the robot on stage. Rumor has it you can get pretty sore from doing the posing practices... ok, like that's is a surprise - what don't I get sore from right now?!?!? I am a chronic exerciser and my life revolves around protein, the occasional piece of Ezekiel bread tastes like a Krispy Kreme donut already (no, I am not exaggerating here). Anyway, thats about it. Right now I am trying to muster up the energy to get some good cardio in...