Well the holidays are finally freakin' over! Why is it that the holiday season evokes such a insurmountable level of stress when it is supposed to be such a joyous season?! I just don't understand that. If you can tell by my title, I have had an interesting last couple of weeks. No... this title has nothing to do with Christmas. It has more to do with my recent training schedule.

Bricks: stacked workouts such as running immediately after cycling. Your legs feel and work like a baby giraffes legs for the first 10-15 minutes but then after that you adjust. Be sure to head right out and get yourself a brick workout in the morning.

Humble Pie: I get this taste in my mouth every time I swim. Funny how one little workout and bring you down to feeling about an inch tall. I also experience a sample of this when I ride by bike for an extended period of time. The female anatomy is quite sensitive on a rock hard, narrow seat.

Shredded Hammies: the feeling that ensues the day or two after straight leg deadlifts. Nuff said.

Well, it's true. I really need to update my profile picture with something that is more in line with my new goal of Ironman. I guess I will have to put that on my "To-Do Scroll" (it's less of a list and more of a scroll at this point). This week, well it was better than last and not too bad. I had to take a mid-week break due to being overly stressed, exhausted and on the verge of getting seriously sick (NO THANK YOU!) However, even on that "rest day" I was at the gym at 6:15am doing a great functional strength circuit with Em, it was just my swim and run I had to cut out after work. This how the story goes. Nicole comes home from work, physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. She decides a short nap would help perk her up for her swim and bike workout. About 30 minutes later she wakes up with a freezing cold set of feet and icicle nose, this was only after 6 or 7 cycles of sweating profusely like a woman in menopause and then shivering like an eskimo outside of his igloo. Then ensued Operation Sleep to Prevent Sickness. This operation lasted MANY hours and interfered with the following work day, in which I arrived 2 hours late to. It did seem to work though, I was feeling much better after work last night and I was able to get my days workouts in;

*45 minute bike ride
*1 hour swim

On top of that I decided I should probably tag another 45 minute run on top of that. Calculator please... yes, that was 2 1/2 hours of working out on a Thursday evening. You've either gotta be crazy or an Ironman in training to do that. Fortunately I am both so it is fitting. This weekend brings a couple of bike rides and a run. Looking forward to feeling accomplished both Saturday and Sunday.

Yep, I'm BAAACCCKKK! I can't believe how time has flown by and so much as happened. Many updates need to be shared;

-Our precious Ruby is in dog heaven (I may have already blogged about this but I can't remember!) This was my primary reason for falling off the face of the earth, I guess I am weaker than I thought and I just couldn't deal with this loss
-We sold our house, are building a new one and currently living with my grandparents
-Work has been crazy stressful (this is somewhat normal but it has been even more stressful than average lately)

So, this blog will now not only follow my Ironman journey but will also be a place where I provide house updates too (since this is such an exciting time for us and is going to be our dream house... I can't believe we are so blessed :)

HOUSE UPDATE:
I met with our architect on Friday, had a few very minor tweaks to our plan. The new plans are being redrawn and will be sent to me Mon or Tues for final sign off. After that they will pursue the building permit through the county, which they expect to have by the end of this coming week. Gasp! It is so freakin' exciting! That means that sometime next week they should start breaking ground, hopefully the weather participates and allows for that darn foundation to get poured! I will post pics of the final plan when I get the revised pics from the architect but for now check out our builders website... he does AH-MAZIN' work! www.byaspenhomes.com

TRAINING UPDATE:

Well.. hehehe. Not quite as intense over the last 6 weeks as planned, that was when my "official" program started. Good news is that I am through with packing, moving, etc (which was by the way extremely stressful because TJ was out of town in Kansas City through the most of it). Bad news is that I am behind in my training and that has affected my confidence in my abilities. The one area I have been most consistent in is my swimming - go figure, the area I would consider my weakest. This is sorta good news. Tomorrow I will be coming to the gym first thing in the morning to swim with the triathlon group. Not quite excited about it, more scared to be honest. These are good swimmers, and I am concerned I am going to make a fool of myself. I have been told I am a better swimmer than I think, but I would say my self esteem isn't all that high when it comes to the swimming right now. A few things that I have done to help myself out this week are that I put my training on my Outlook calendar and will treat it like a meeting. I have to remind myself to take one day at a time, otherwise the task at hand can see overwhelming. Secondly, I am going to focus on stable, consistent and 'real' nutrition. My eating habits have been something less than profoundly nutritious. In fact, my diet could be that bad example diet you hear about all the time. Plenty of refined carbs, LOTS of simple sugars, hardly any protein, relatively no vegetables and non-existent water. Basically, its no wonder that I have been feeling like crap.

Today I came into work and made time for a good workout;
*55 minutes on the TM, intervals (because I am too much of a fat ass to run the entire time)
*30 minutes on the bike (I shouldn't be riding the spin bike in place of my tri bike but I needed a success and the extra energy expenditure)


I am honestly so excited about what is to come in our (TJ and my) lives this year, we have so much to look forward to. I don't want to sit out and not enjoy the ride (no pun intended as I have to adjust to spending many hours on my tri bike and trainer), and I don't want to fail. I can't fail. I would regret it so much if I don't buck up and get my shit in order to make this happen. The major stress moments are over (although I know that more will ultimately come and present themselves). The reality is life is not without stress and it is all about priorities. My priorities are: Ironman Training and saving $$$ for the new house (and in the meantime maintaining my relationships :) Here we go... starting this journey again and I'm hungry for it.

I will leave you with this, some random quote I heard:

"A body in motion wants to keep moving, a body at rest wants to remain resting"

So gosh darn true! When I was training for the figure show all I wanted to do was keep moving, I'm looking forward to seeing good progress with my Ironman training, physically, emotionally and mentally.

This was the quote of the week, "you're not flipper, you're not a dolphin". These were the words so eloquently spoken by my friend Pam. So, here's the background story... we were at the Y after work for a swim workout when we decided to see how fast we could swim 50 yards. After my first attempt Pam asked me if I felt I went as hard as I could. "um ya - I guess?" Apparently, as she pointed out, I wasn't really kicking my legs - oh ya! I thought to myself, I kinda forgot to kick hard. Ok, start over... next time I was kicking my legs and it was more visible. For whatever reason I was casually kicking my legs under the water the first time and you couldn't really see that I was kicking. One of the goals with triathlon swimming is to save your legs for the bike and the run, I guess I took this to the extreme and turned into a dolphin. Lesson learned. :)

Yesterday, was a successful day, one that left me a bit stiff and sore this morning. Emily and I started the Turbulence Training, we met up for a workout in the morning. At lunch I rode my bike for about an hour or so. After work I swam for 35-40 mins with Pam. Generally one likes to spread their workouts out over the week, I, however, seem to cram my weeks workouts into one day. Hence, the soreness and stiffness. Today I am taking it kinda easy, may go out for a short run and I will probably do some cooking later. I will be sure to share any exciting "concoctions" I come up with.

I just had to post this (I know - two in one night?!?!) I just got done making cupcakes for my sis-in-laws baby shower tomorrow. The theme is "All Star Baby Shower", kinda like a baby's first sport theme. The gifts that we are giving are all Griz baby clothes and some Gonzaga baby clothes. So to stick with the theme I also got little sports rubber duckys (they are carrying footballs, baseball, etc) and made these sport ball themed cupcakes. They turned out pretty cute.





Doing the decorating and piping was a damn chore though - geez! the forearms are exhausted! Anyway, thought they were worth sharing...

Those stupid little fried corn strips that someone named FRITOS got the best of me yesterday! Geez! So I innocently decided to throw a handful in some chili, yes, my healthy chili that I recently made. Don't ask who purchased them at the store and brought them home. It may or may not have been me. I also may or may not have proceeded to eat like 4 servings after dinner. And, that may or may not have lead to a diet coke and 3 chocolate chip cookies for dinner tonight. Waahh?!?! I know! You don't have to tell me... me OF ALL PEOPLE... knows better! It was like I was possessed by a little junk food demon, who came into my body and forced my little mitts to grab onto any junk food I could find. Why do these things happen?! Ugh... I'm over it now.

So, here's my latest little catastrophe that I mentioned in my most recent blog post. My torn wetsuit "issue". See below:



This tear is on the bottom of the leg, across the calf seam. I am guessing that I was just a little too aggressive when putting it on last time. Or, maybe I am in denial and I posses exceptionally fat calves. Either way, I have a problem. Luckily, this can be repaired (thank god! otherwise, I might have been the only person I know to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a "rubber suit" that was rendered useless after four or five uses). I have been in contact with the manufacturer (Blue Seventy, one of the best in the biz). They are gonna help me get it fixed. I guess this is less embarrassing than blowing out the ass on the thing, but if I don't stop the "junk food joy wagon" that might be next.

As far as the training this week... meh. Not so good, less consistent than last week. I mean how can I possibly have time for exercise when I am stuffing my face? In all seriousness, Em alerted me of a new challenge she is going to do. I am going along for the ride, not to "compete" in the challenge but more of an internal goal. This will supplement my training and hopefully get me strong and ready for next springs training. More to come on this, Em's got all the details and is bringing them to our morning workout. I am actually looking forward to working out with her again - we had some good times last spring!

Well, it was a successful week! Here is my week recap...

Monday 08.30.10: REST DAY

Tuesday 08.31.10:
*45 minute swim workout (2x100, 4x50, 5x200, 2x50 = 1500 yards... hell ya!)

Wednesday 09.01.10: REST DAY

Thursday 09.02.10: "Brick workout"
*45 minute bike ride
*30 minute run

Friday 09.03.10:
*45 minute swim workout (4x100, 150, 200, 250, 250, 200, 150, 100 = 1600 yards)
*35 minute bike ride

Saturday 09.04.10:
*1 hour 30 minute bike ride in CDA - (Higgins point ride, twice... HILLS!)
*15 minute swim in lake CDA with wetsuit (I did get a tear in my wetsuit after this... I will blog more about this later as I need to repair it)

Sunday 09.05.10:
*1 hour 20 minute trail run in Riverside State Park (this run left me walking like a baby giraffe this morning)

This was the most exercise I have gotten in a week since June, so I am pleased. Hopefully next week is just as successful.

Lately I have really been enjoying cooking again, well I mean cooking like a "normal person" and not figure prep. I still like to create options that are healthy and make healthy substitutions. What's really great is that my head isn't as wrapped around sugar, carbs, fat and calories. I am trying to eat to perform (yes, you are hearing the 'junk food bandit' say this). I made several healthy options for the upcoming week and then one splurge item, I have even taken pictures for you! See below:


This was dinner the other night, something I call Cuban Mahi Mahi Tacos


Here is something I prepped for the week. It is a garbanzo bean salad with tomatoes, corn, red onion, green beans, feta and a mexican vinaigrette. The tomatoes, corn and onion are from a friends garden - yummo!


This is also something I prepped for tomorrows lunch. It is a green salad with red onion, beets, goat cheese and walnuts. The beets are from a co-workers garden, cooked and peeled 'em myself!


Dinner cooking in the crock pot. Healthy four bean turkey chili (and you guessed it - the veggies are from a co-workers garden)


Here's the splurge... Southern style peach cobbler. I picked these Sunset Peaches up at Greenbluff and also put a handful of Ginger Gold Apple in there (also picked up at Greenbluff). This is just going in the oven and will be ready in 45 minutes - NOM NOM!

Last weekend we celebrated Ruby's 7th bday. We surely wanted to make it known that we had a birthday in the house so we adorned everyone with Sponge Bob birthday hats and had a party! See the pictures below for the proof:





It was a great week to celebrate. I also was able to meet up with a friend of mine who is an accomplished Ironman triathlete. He is offering me coaching support through this next year. It's a great connection, he now works for Ironman full time. Anyway, we chatted details about my training program which starts officially on October 18th. He had lots of great advice for me, and some "words of wisdom" which were tailor made for me. Since he knows me so well he most definitely knows the things that I need to focus on (i.e. not being so OCD). I look forward to the program, here is a sample week from my program;

MONDAY
*Swim 60-75mins
*Bike 60 mins

TUESDAY
*Bike 1hr 40mins
*Run 55mins

WEDNESDAY
*Swim 60 mins
*Bike 1hr 20mins

THURSDAY
*Swim 60mins
*Run 1hr 15mins

FRIDAY
*Rest!

SATURDAY
*Bike 3hrs 25mins
*Run 50mins

SUNDAY
*Bike 1hr 15mins
*Run 2hours

Each of these workouts have very specific guidelines for where my heart rate needs to be, along with some very specific goals during the workout (I will provide those type of details as I describe my training weeks later this year). This example week is not the first week, but several weeks into the program. On top of this I will be full body strength training two times per week and doing yoga one or two times per week. Sounds like a lot of work? Well, that's because it is! You don't just go out and go for 140.6miles without training. I am looking forward to the challenge. Until my structured program starts I am really just starting to get some consistency with my swimming, biking and running. Had a great 90 minute ride today. The other piece of advice I received was to not beat myself up if I miss 10 minutes of a workout. He said, "let it go, enjoy the time you did and move on". Hmmm... isn't that the perfect advice for me!

Generally I write about things that are first time experiences or just plain funny experiences (granted, I usually exaggerate a bit which helps with the visualization). Today I don't feel like writing about anything that is really all that funny. This is because I have had a few enlightening days over the past couple of weeks. My blog post today is just going to be one of brutal honesty and transparency. I am going to describe the types of things we generally hide for fear of seeming "weak". What I have come to realize is that I am really struggling with my emotions while trying to deal with my dog Ruby's cancer diagnosis. For the first few weeks I was in a pretty big funk, but that is to be expected when you learn of devastating news. Then there were a couple of weeks where I thought I was really turning around, like I was finally able to deal with the sadness and stress. Well, that is not the case. I have realized more than ever this week that I am still really sad. My heart is very heavy. I couldn't understand why I had put myself in a carb coma for the last few weeks and to be honest I have been denying it to myself that I can't emotionally deal with the Ruby situation. Here in lies the problem, I don't know what to do. I have tried to mask the feelings by "carrying on" and trying to do things that make me feel better, like working out. These things do make me feel better but its only temporary and it hasn't been the same since the diagnosis. What I am scared of right now is that I don't feel like I have the control. Only someone who has been through this with a pet can understand, others can't even come close. It has produced a whirlwind of sadness that is reminiscent of when my father was dying of cancer. Each day I look at the tumor I genuinely feel physical pain. The tumor is growing rapidly and irregularly. I feel HELPLESS. I, who has been the one to protect and care for Ruby her entire life is able to do nothing to save her from the painful death of cancer. The feelings of guilt are tremendous. It makes me feel worthless. There have also been many changes at work recently and more to come, and yet I am usually really good at dealing with change. I am usually proactive and resilient. Now I feel paralyzed and tired. Almost like I am in the middle of a tornado, it is very quiet and lonely and yet everything seems to be spinning around me about a million miles and hour. I share this post today because I am hoping that releasing these feelings to whoever is listening will be therapeutic and help me come to some sort of acceptance. I am not trying to be a "Debbie Downer" I just think that showing this vulnerability is part of being open to the journey of life and experiencing it to the fullest. I know that I am not alone, others have felt this way at some point or maybe even do now. Perhaps the best advice I can live by right now is "take one day at a time and live each day to its fullest", and so the journey continues... today is Ruby's 7th birthday - we are celebrating the life moments we have shared, the love we have for one another and praying for more great memories in the future.

Yesterday was a successful day! Pam and I went to Couer d Alene, yes this is a great way to start any day, in a beautiful place. We swam in the lake, in our wetsuits. I let Pam go off and do her thing, I didn't want to hold her back and I needed to work on my own swimming rhythm. The wake in the water was a challenge to get used to, but great for me to practice in. It forced me to breath on both sides in order to not suffocate (this would not be a good thing). I felt like I was really able to get into a rhythm and practice my breathing technique in a "sloshing around" environment. Plus, it marked another successful day getting in and out of my wetsuit... hehe!

After the swim we went on a bike ride. Part of our ride was out to Higgins Point and back, this is part of the Ironman course (albeit a very small part, but I will count it). In total we rode 25 miles, some on hills and some with traffic. My challenges were mostly with the "crotch region" and my neck. These things just take some getting used to - not much else to say here. All in all, each day brings new adventures. I am just trying to be humble through the process and take each day as it comes <--- these are probably the wisest words I have ever spoken, I wonder if this 'training' is making me a smarter person?

Well, here I am again. My weekly blog in tow (yes, I AM trying to blog more often). Yesterday, marked a victory day - swimming in the open water in my new wetsuit. What a fun experience (insert sarcasm tone here). I mean, who doesn't enjoy sweating like a small farm pig as you try to squeeze your fat ass into a little black rubber suit that appears to be 10 sizes too small? I wondered if they sent me the wrong size at first, is this the matching wetsuit for my baby doll I asked myself. No, it was a "women's medium"... really? (maybe a Chinese woman, but can this possibly be for an American woman?) My friend Pam got to witness the entire thing, in a "friend voice" she encouraged me... "don't worry, they are always really tight the first time". Ummm, ok maybe - but is the thing supposed to feel like I have been shrink wrapped in a Michellin tire with a baby elephant standing on my chest? Oh ya, and whoever said black was "slimming" was full of shit. I was standing there looking like a giant tub of road tar and I mean GIANT, enough to cover all the cracks on I-90. Thank God I had a swim cap on, at least a passerby wouldn't have been able to tell my gender (oh wait, take that back - I guess a skin forming suit does show the tatas). Now that I am completely embarrased (and have even been mistaken for a scuba diver by two boys who were swimming nearby) I stood there - staring at Pam, "what's next"? What other embarrasing thing is next? What other self esteem crushing activity do you have in store for me? Off I waddled like an emperor penguin into the lake. Whoa! This thing kinda makes me float (perhaps it was actually my weekend bender of wedding food and wine that helped with the bouyancy, whatever, I will take it). Technically, "floating" doesn't count as swimming so we started to swim straight out into the middle of the lake. Pam looked like a windmill swimming effortlessly. I, however, looked like a spastic giant bobber in the lake. Here's how I "roll" - freestyle, breastroke, "bob" for air, repeat. Sure, my endurance is lacking... but hey - I was out there moving the ol' bod. It felt good. I have much work to do before Ironman next year, but I just need to remember one day at a time will get me there.

I also had the experience this past week of changing my bike tire (cheers for me!). This actually happened in the comfort of my home, kinda nice for the first time. I had noticed the tire went flat by itself, so I manhandled it and changed out the tube! From a distance I am sure it looked like I was wrestling with a black snake, don't worry - I won. Shortly after changing the tire, I took her out for a spin. The wind in my hair, I was looking around like "Hey everyone! Look at me! I am a real life triathlete!" (not entirely true because I haven't actually completed on yet). I have decided that I will name my bike, (don't ask me why, these are just the types of things I do)... haven't settled on a name yet but I'll keep you posted.

The story of my life lately... binging! Oh man, this has been a crazy couple of weeks. One thing lead to another and to another and now I have been spiraling outta control with my binging and lack of exercise. It's a viscous cycle, the poor eating makes you want to stop working out and stop drinking water and then all of the sudden you aren't sleeping well and you just don't feel "good". This is me, welcome to my world recently. It is a slippery slope, the 'jack in the box treat' was the gateway drug to my lazy life. This weekend we are headed to a wedding - after that I need to get back on track! I would like to loose a few lbs before spring to reduce my risk of injury as my training volume increases... ah, the never ending battle!

My latest challenge is to get in the pool consistently. Honestly, it has been a struggle. First, my endurance in the pool is in the toilet, I don't like not being "good" at it. I can barely swim down and back without having to take a rest. Second, the chlorine makes me itchy and makes me smell like chlorine - not appreciated. My goal is to swim a minimum of 3 times per week, ideally 4 times per week. So far this week I have only made it two times. Tonight I went in and vowed to swim at least for 15-20 minutes (not non-stop... I'm not that conditioned yet!). I swam 500m after a 200m warm up. I guess that isn't too bad considering it is the second time I have gotten in the pool in a year. I know it will come with practice, but it has been difficult. This saturday I will be attending a triathlon swim clinic. I am really looking forward to this and am hoping that it helps me with my confidence level and excitement around swimming (fingers crossed). On a side note... I did get a new "toy" today! I got a new wetsuit. It looks like it is an outfit for a doll, its kinda small. I guess that is the intent, you do want it to be like second skin - but dang! See the picture below...

I have always talked about how "I was going to do Ironman". Well I am, in 2011. I signed up for the race last night, honestly I can't believe I went ahead and pushed through all the fear. It's one thing to talk about it like you are going to do it, it's another to register and then realize that you have to start training NOW. I am scared that is the honest truth, but I figured why I am I still waiting? I am 30 next year and I don't have too many childless years left. Another reason I want to do this is for my dog Ruby. This sounds weird but if somehow she is a miracle dog and lives for a whole year I want her to be there when I finish the race, I always imagined in my head that she and Emma and TJ would all be there at the finish line - I am hoping that can be the case. I know it will be a long journey but I am hoping that it is a fun one and one where I learn more about myself than ever before. I truly have to give thanks to my husband for this. He bought me a new bike and has been so supportive, I couldn't ask for a better husband. Even though he doesn't understand my crazy antics, he totally 'props' me up. I am getting the question... does this mean you aren't shooting for Boston in the fall? Well... not sure about that yet. I will wait and see how it all plays out in the next few weeks. First thing though I need to get some miles in on my new tri bike! Yep - you read that right... new TRI BIKE! TJ bought it for me yesterday. So, there you go - I figured now I have the bike and the registration was still open (usually never open that long), so I decided to take a leap of faith. I keep reminding myself to take one day at a time, even though I am scared shitless. This will be one of the hardest journeys I will be on, I know that but luckily I have a great support system around me. See the pic of my new bike, this isn't my exact bike (the wheels are different) but this is the bike... the Quintana Roo 'Dulce'. So here starts my new journey... deep breaths... in through the nose and out through the mouth... and we start walking one foot in front of the other...

LIFE that is. No one said it was going to be easy but seriously! Does it have to be this hard? The most recent update is that we are going to meet with a vetinary oncologist to determine our next steps. We sent Ruby's xrays to be interpreted by a specialist who may be able to shed some light on whether or not the cancer has spread to her lungs and is visible in the xrays. However, they say that many times the cancer can not be seen and it has actually already spread to the lungs. We are headed down a very difficult road either way, whether we do treatments or are not able to. It is so emotionally taxing (not to mention financially!).

Today I finally had enough energy to go for a run. I think because I talked with the vet and made the appointment with the oncologist I felt like I was being pro-active with everything and for the first time in a couple of weeks I felt like I had control again. I did almost four miles today, ran with Emma my yellow lab (that girl just might be my ticket to Boston! She is quite the pacer). Once I came home I took Ruby for a recovery walk, good for her and for me! My mind is racing with about a million things - no surprise there. I am planning on qualifying for Boston and yet I still have been considering doing the Night of Champions show in the fall (bikini though, not figure), and also want to do an Ironman. So I am just trying to get my ducks in a row and keep on working towards at least one goal. The biggest thing I need to focus on is keeping my head above water, I have found myself in slumps that resemble depression through all of this and that my friend is a slippery slope.

We got the final biopsy results from Ruby's bone biopsy... worst news possible - Osteosarcoma. Osteo-what?!?! I was fearful that is what they were going to say, but I was truly hoping they might have been wrong the first time. Here is where the difficult journey begins... realistically the treatments that the vet would recommend may only prolong life for a year or so. The treatments are very aggressive, amputate the leg and start chemo therapy. This is a very expensive treatment protocol, we have rough figures that it will cost in the neighborhood of $10,000. I am willing to spend this kind of money if it means she will have many years left with us but I am unsure I want to put her through that kind of stress for only a few extra months. We will be proceeding with a meeting with the vet oncologist to discuss all of the questions that we currently have. Truly, I am as scared as I have ever been in my life. I don't want to let Ruby down and make the wrong decision, she is worth every penny and ounce of energy that we have if it means her quality of life is extended. This news is completely devastating to TJ and I. I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but I think I am in a complete state of depression. She is part of our family and has been there with me through every step of the way.

This post is a little bit of a stray from my usual topics... but I figured having a good outlet would help me get my "mind right". Last Thursday we took our dog Ruby (picture above) to the vet, our precious 7 year old black lab Ruby. She has had a bump on her leg for several months and it appeared to be growing so we thought we would get it checked out. I think the reason we didn't get it checked out in the beginning was because we were afraid to know what it was. The vet did some xrays and they didn't look good, he said the words 'bone cancer'. More specifically, he said 'osteosarcoma'. These aren't the words you ever want to hear from your vet, especially because they are followed by "three months to live". Osteosarcoma is a very aggressive form of bone cancer, highly metastic and the outcomes are not good (less than 10% of dogs will survive beyond 12 months even with aggressive treatment). We opted to have a surgery the following day to get bone samples via a bone biopsy and have them sent down to the WSU vet school in Pullman to be analyzed. We are hoping the diagnosis based only on the xrays is incorrect. There is hope that it is something else, something less terminal and something that gives us hope. Long story short... I laid in bed all day Friday, cried my weight in tears and felt like my world was all of the sudden completely upside down. Ruby is recovering pretty well from the surgery itself but now we are playing the waiting game to find out the results. I really feel like I am sitting on pins and needles waiting... my heart is racing a million beats per minute and I have tremendous anxiety. I have been doing nothing but worrying for days on end... we might find out as early as today the results - our prayers are hoping for a miracle...

I spent some time in the weight room tonight - first time since I been back in Spokane and since before my vacation (we did "lift" one time during vacation but I'm not counting that). I did a cardio split with some HIIT and lifted pretty heavy chest/tri's. Yowza! The muscles are freakin' out wondering what da heck jus happened to 'em! I know for sure that I will be sore, I can tell already. It's amazing how you can loose so much strength (and confidence) in just a couple of weeks. I was fumbling all over the weight room, resembling a baby horse trying to walk for the first time (not quite as nice of a physique though). Eeekk! How embarrasing... it's almost like I need to lift in hiding for a couple of weeks before I present myself to the public again! One nice thing is that all the guys who lift when I usually lift were excited to see me back - they were wondering where I had been and were wondering if I was going to "compete again"... made me feel good - I can grunt and throw the weight around like the best of the big balla's in there (well... when I am back up to "snuff" I can).

It is time for me to bust out my foam roller like a mad man. My hips have been tight along with my IT bands. Some describe the experience of rolling out an IT band as "hurts so good" (and yet I ask again... when does the "good" part come). I hate using the foam roller - mostly because I am too lazy I guess and because it sucks! I squeal like a baby pig every time I use it, small tears of blood may have actually slowly rolled down my face a time or two because of the sadistic foam roller. Today I am backing off my mileage to be sure I can loosen my hips up. I was going to do a 10 miler but decided to back down the mileage. The other reason I am backing off is because I am headed out on a jet plane for vacay... Maui! We are pumped and I've got to finish packing my 30 bikinis! Getting out of Spokane while it is rainy and windy will put a smile on my face! One of the activities we have planned is a snorkeling trip at a sunken in crater off the island of Maui, called Molokini. This crater was a volcano that erupted and then caved in on itself, only the brim is peaking out of the water... see the amazing picture below

Today I completed my long run for the week. 9 miles in a pair of new running shoes (complements of by hubby, pictured to the left). These have been my 'go-to' shoes forever, the Asics Gel Nimbus. They just came out with a new model, which they do every year or so... the Gel Nimbus 12. I have owned every Gel Nimbus since number 6... I have strayed a few times and tried other shoes but I keep coming back. I don't even know why I every try and leave, they always treat me right (kinda like a great boyfriend who you fail to appreciate for some reason). Anyway, these shoes carried me swiftly along the trail today. I wish I could say that the weather was as supportive... about 1.5 miles in I got pelted by hail. It rained and hailed for about 2 miles or so. I just kept on keepin on... completed my run in 116 minutes, about a 8:30 min/mile average. I will take it! Especially because this week left me drained (physically, mentally and nutritionally). For some reason, my nutrition has been all over the place - not necessarily too much food but not the right kinds of calories. Take for example the fact that my afternoon was filled with a giant brownie and 3 cups of coffee yesterday. This doesn't exactly leave ones body overloaded with nutrition. I came home and went on a short run, which I didn't even have enough energy for. I felt bogged down, and sick to my stomach. Kinda like a car puttering as it runs outta gas... that was me - stop and start and stop and start... no one can qualify for Boston lookin like a backfiring car!

I am a total fiend for caffiene right now! So I guess you could call me a caffiend... caffiene really is a drug! Lately, my thoughts and needs have become consumed by coffee. I notice how much of a negative impact this has on me. Being on a caffiene roller coaster (complete with nausea side effects and dizzyness) is no fun! Really it is quite difficult for me to get off of this stupid roller coaster, I feel like I have no self control. To make things worse I am not drinking enough water, so I am habitually dehydrated which has added to the problem and made me feel lethargic. I have been waking up exhausted and achy... probably from the "crash" of the caffiene. Anyway, I am dealing with this battle to try and overcome this issue!

I had a pretty good workout the night before last. I did some speedwork, but didn't want to overdo it so I kept it pretty mild. Here are a few of the details;

*4 x 800 meters @ 7:30 min/mile pace (with 100 meters of rest)
*Leg press (drop sets - 100, 80, 60lbs - 10 reps each, 2 sets)
*Leg Ext (drop sets - 60, 40, 20lb - 10 reps each, 2 sets)
*Curtsy lunges (20 each leg, 2 sets)

I had intended to do 4 sets, but my legs were shot and oh man, was I sore the next morning! I decided to take yesterday off (bad Nicole!) but it was great to relax, chow down on some popcorn and watch a movie with TJ. Today I am back on... going to get a run in this evening and a strength workout. Tomorrow brings a long run (9-10 miles)...

Productive day... checked off the list! Today I had a killa workout, the legs seem to have loosened up some and my new strength workout gave me a good butt kickin. Here is what was on the agenda today:

• 4 mile run, pace was good... approx 8:20 min/miles

Here's were the pain and suffering occurred, my CRAZY strength workout:

• Shoulder Press (25lbs, 20lbs, 15lbs - 10reps each, 4 sets)
• Lat Raise (15lbs, 10lbs, 5lbs - 10 reps each, 4 sets)
• Rear Delt Row (30lbs - 10 reps, 4 sets)
• Front Shoulder Press (25lbs, 15lbs, 10lbs - 10 reps each, 4 sets)
• Assisted Pullups (wide, regular, close, under - 10 reps each, 4 sets... yes that's 40 pullups per set!)
• Bent Over Row (30lbs, 25lbs, 20lbs - 10 reps each, 4 sets)
• Wide Grip Row (100lbs, 80lbs, 60lbs - 10 reps each, 4 sets)

Yes, if you count that up is was a total of 790 reps... CRAZY high volume. The purpose of drop sets is that you go back to back to back with no rest. So you do 30-40 reps with no rest but still while dropping the weights. It was a hard workout, but even with that high of volume it didn't take me that long at all. The rest periods are essentially non-existent so it goes very quickly. I stole this workout from a magazine and will probably adapt a few things. These are the types of strength workouts I am shooting for three times a week (different body parts though). I will also add Pilates one or two times per week and that should compliment my running. My diet was also 'on point' today, thus contributing to my goal of improving performance... fingers crossed this habit continues.

This title kinda describes my recent "status"... not really emotional, more of my physical status. Last night I had one of those "lightbulb moments" - ding! I blogged about my 'experiment' to determine if I was allergic to carbohydrates a few days ago. Well, I guess allergic is a pretty strong word, but the reason I say this is because when I eat a lot of carbohydrates I don't feel good - in fact I feel pretty bad. Of course, this is also probably attributed to the fact that my portion sizes are meant for a full grown elephant and that my choice in carbohydrates lately have been french fries and gummy bears, but none the less, these things really aren't sitting that well in my tummy. This is really tragedy in my mind... I LOVE gummies, etc. I could seriously live off gummies if it wouldn't leave me completely malnourished and strung out on sugar all the time. So here's where the serious part comes in... I was reading this article about how certain body types respond better to certain diets. They were discussing things like high cholesterol, high triglycerides, hypertension, etc. Here is the statement that also made me drop the book... "those who are at risk for having high triglycerides should be very controlled with their carbohydrate intake if they are looking to loose weight or maintain weight". WHA?!?! NO!!! How can this be?! Those of you reading this might be saying... umm yah, that's kinda obvious. But here is where the enlightenment comes in... a few years ago when I was living in Colorado I had some blood work done. The results came back showing my triglycerides were through the roof! The doctor was shocked... and of course so was I - I literally cried for days. I thought, oh my gosh... I have a major health concern! At the time I asked the doctor, "how can this be?" he responded with a "there's nothing you can do about it, it must be in your genetics and we should really get you on some medication, you'll be on it for the rest of your life"? Whatever!!! No one in family is on medication for this! Not even my great grandparents (yes, I said Great Grandparents). He wanted to put me on medication, I thought it was ridiculous - the usual stubborn me decided that I would NOT take the pills. I actually asked at that time if this could have anything to do with my love of sweets. He told me no, they were unrelated. I always wondered to myself about this... and since then I have started seeing more and more research linking these things together. Years later, I had my blood work checked again. This was during a time when I was eating much more in balance and.. viola! No high triglycerides!

Well, my "food joy ride" has officially ended. It's crazy to think I am only 3 weeks post show and yet it feels like forever ago. I have been creating a new nutritional periodization chart that will help support my training periodization. The thought here is that by doing this I will be able to train harder and 'better'. I have transitioned into my next marathon training (this is probably glaringly obvious by my blog posts and new title). I am doing a bit of experimentation with my training this year. Of course my mileage will be high as it always is with training, but my strength training and protein intake will also remain high. This isn't your typical marathon runners schedule but I am breaking out of the mold a bit and honestly feel that while this isn't the 'traditional' way to eat and train I am going to do it this way. There is lots of evidence out there to suggest that my way of training may actually be the 'new way' to train - plus, it creates a different physique. It will enable me to maintain a look that is similar to my "figure girl look". Shapely muscles are much more aesthetically pleasing to me.

I am in a world of hurt today! It was from the butt blasting workout yesterday-dang it! My hips are so tight and sore, I resemble one who is walking on stilts. I will be spending the weekend with a glass of wine and my foam roller (the wine is to serve as a "numbing agent"). If you haven't done the foam rolling process before, you should be warned that it can be very painful. Some describe it as "hurts so good" and yet I ask - "where's the good part?" Oh ya, I guess that part comes after you become consistent and are 'loosened up'. The serious part in all of this is that my IT band has been tight for a few weeks now and I HAVE to loosen it up in order to continue increasing my mileage - a tight IT band and put you out for months - NOT GOOD! So I guess I will accept my grimacing face as a regular nightly occurance for the next several weeks... this is going to be harder than my 20-22 mile training runs.

Have you ever tried Kookabura licorice? Oh my goodness- it so good, it ain't even right! I love their licorice! We got some yesterday and I proceeded to mow through it like a wood chipper. The stuff is so good, not too sweet and super chewy. It is an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in quite a while. I took a gander at the nutritional info on the bag and almost dropped the bag. Wha?!?! This stuff really has that many calories for that many pieces? How can that be? It's just innocent little licorice. To add "salt to my wounds" there were 8 1/2 servings in the bag. Who is making up these portions anyway? Are these portions meant for lego people? I could have EASILY eaten the whole bag... and, now that I think of it probably have at one point or another. Moral of the story, beware of the black devil licorice.

WTF body?!?! I say that to my body because dang... yesterday my legs felt like they were filled with concrete on my run. Part of this is because I ran late in the afternoon after a day of not drinking enough water and therefore, being slightly dehydrated. The run went ok, at this point in time I am trying to get in my routine and get regular runs in during the week. It does take some time for your body to become accustomed to the outdoor running, the high impact nature of the exercise does cause more muscle damage. There is significantly more muscle damage running outside than running indoors on a treadmill. And since most of my running this year has been on the hamster wheel I am going through an "acclimatization phase" with my outdoor running. I felt like the tin man this morning getting out of bed, yes complete with the sound effects (eeh er, eeh er...).

Have you ever looked around and recognized how many Opportunities for Success we have in this world? There are so many things that can be done or completed that would be recognized as success. These can be community volunteer acts, career goals, family and relationship goals or personal fitness goals, etc. However you look at it there are so many things that we can accomplish in our lifetimes if we want to. I have decided that this really kind of explains my philosophy and my outlook on all the 'random goals' I set for myself. Looking back I have always been this way. My goals have been focused on athletics and on education/career. Those who have mentored me in my life have said two things, "you are too hard on yourself" and "you don't need to push so hard all of the time". I think I am just wired this way, and besides if I wasn't pushing so hard would I have accomplished all I have up to this point in my life? Probably not, I may have just decided to settle for complacency. The odd thing is each accomplishment leads me to believe I can do more and do better. I think the momentum to this way of thinking came from graduate school. For one, graduate school can really test your abilities - especially in the program I was in and for two, it was a point in my life where I had just picked up and moved across the country on my own to pursue a new adventure. Wow! Looking back I am not even sure how I did that on my own! This has lead me on a journey to set totally random goals for myself. Each goal I accomplish that is new proves to me my mental capacity.

Here's the interesting "flip side" to this perspective. Some people see the world as offering many Opportunities for Failure. They may not outwardly recognize this but they feel this way inside and therefore don't attempt to accomplish things. I find myself seeing things this way when I am scared or unsure of myself. Each time I push beyond these feelings of reservation I find that I grow beyond what I could imagine and am grateful for the experience. There are times along all journey's that I feel this way, but the more I overcome them the less frequent they come up.

For me the "physical goals" I set for myself are the ones that aren't necessarily physical. Yes, they are "athletic" but it is more mental than physical. Anyone who doesn't see that has a very limited perception. I think it is a gift to see beyond the carrot of a "time" or "looking good in a bikini". I am grateful I see the other perks to these type of goals. I don't know how long I will be able to set these types of goals for myself but as long I as I can I will enjoy being able to do these types of things. I hope to never limit myself in what I can accomplish by questioning my mental capacity. TJ tells me I have the strongest "mentals" (this is a TJ phrase) of anyone he knows.

Here are a few things I have accomplished that I see as significant to my life:
*Graduate School
*Running marathons
*Climbed several Rocky Mountain "14ers"
*Run a High Altitude Race (at 10,000 feet)
*Completed a Figure Contest

Here are a few things I would like to accomplish:
*Run THE Boston Marathon (working on this now)
*Complete an Ironman Triathalon
*Write a book (starting to outline this now)
*Open my own business (still have yet to decide what this will be completely)

Of course these goals don't include my entire life and the list isn't comphrensive but it does feel good to look back and forward and see the excitement my life has had. I am just very grateful that GOD has given me the abilities and opportunities to make these things happen and I am thankful for my perspective every day, it is a healthy, positive and balanced perspective I am grateful for.

I completed a long run this morning... well I don't really consider anything a long run unless its over 12 miles but for the sake of my training calendar this was considered my 'long run' day. I did just under 8 miles today... with an average pace of 8:45 min/mile. This pace is right on target with where I would like to be - your long run pace is should be somewhere between 30 sec and 1 min slower than your marathon race pace.

Oh the memories this run brought back today! Of course most of my runs are done on the Centennial Trail, which runs right along side the Spokane River (beautiful course really). I use the trail because it is so darn close to my house, has no traffic, bathrooms at some mile markers and its easy to do an 'out and back' run. I have probably logged 2,000 miles on that trail... so I know it like the back of my hand! The curves of the pavement, the smells of certain plants (or Krispy Kreme which is conveniently located at mile ~9.25), the "regulars" and the feel of the river air all brought back soooo many memories! That part of the trail is definitely my stompin ground and this is my jam! Holla!

I have had very tight muscles since last weeks race, so my goal this week to do a lot of stretching and keep everything loose so that I can get some good miles in. The funny thing was I was so used to doing "cardio on an empty stomach" in the morning that I almost forgot to eat before my run this morning. This is a complete 180 deg change in training philosophy. I savored a gel just prior to my run and one about 45 mins in. Ohhh gels... I've missed you so much!

Right now I am still kinda acting like a hybrid of a figure competitor and a marathoner. This is mostly attributed to my protein powder craving and continual consumption. I made a new thing last night... High Protein Guiltfree PB Oatmeal Raisin Cookies! These have NO flour, white sugar, butter or oil in them! See below for the ingredients:

*1 3/4 cup traditional oats
*4 scoops vanilla protein powder
*2 tbsp ground flaxseed
*6 egg whites
*1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
*2 tbsp Splenda brown sugar
*2 tbsp natural peanut butter (I decided on this at the last minute for some extra "pizazz")
*dash cinnamon
*1/2 cup raisins (optional)
*1 tbsp sugarfree maple syrup
*1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix together and bake and you have a "cookie". They look pretty similar to a cookie, but have a slightly different texture - honestly I think they are legit! They have ~15g of protein per cookie! Yes, my perception may be warped, but heck I don't have to feel guilty eating these!

You may have thought you clicked on the wrong website when you first re-entered my blog! I gave it a face lift! Figured why not?! I am turning a new leaf over... now on a new adventure and it's time for a change. This is partially due to the fact that I finally had enough time to sit down and make some changes!

Here is my newest discovery... more choices = more temptation! The more types of food I have around me the more 'willing' I am to sample the flavors. This is a serious dilemma for a foodie like me. I love to cook and experience great foods, but I am concerned at this point with how this will affect my waistline - especially because my running hasn't settled into a regular pattern yet. The honest truth is that my body has changed since the show (of course a few lbs was expected) but I don't want this to turn into a feeding frenzy. I have really come to this conclusion that too many choices is not a good thing. I am planning on picking up my running regimen, but have taken a couple of days off because I have been sore from Sunday's race. My goal for the next couple of days is to settle into my "new routine"... this "new routine" is TBD - if anyone out there knows what it is or has it, please let me know :) Just kidding! I know what my new routine is - I just have to tweak a few things and then actually stick to it! Ahhh the journey's of structured nutritional regimens... I will post more later.

Well, Bloomsday weekend just passed. This is the largest road race... approx. 51,000 people finished the race this year - that's a crapload of people! I ran Bloomsday this year, the Y had a corporate cup team. I didn't know how my body would respond to running a race of this distance (it is a 12K, 7.46 miles) in lieu of my past few months training and diet regimen. My past few months have consisted of a workout that one would not consider "runner friendly"~ lack of carbs being the major culprit. However, I was pleasantly surprised, I had a good race. My Garmin clocked me at 59'36" (my official race time on the website was listed as 59'49" or something like that). I will go with my Garmin time :) Either way I was pleased with my race - this will be a great kick start into my training for Portland. I have decided to continue this blog to talk about my marathon training.

What a whirlwind! Sorry for my delay in posting but this week flew by. So... the show was last weekend - mission accomplished! I have just completed my first figure show!!! The night after the show I was almost in shock that it was over and that I had done a show. I woke up the next morning feeling as though I was in a dream, or that I had done the show a LONG time ago. I still feel like it was so long ago, but it was only last saturday! It was a great week, it felt good to get back in the gym and not feel the pressure of show prep - but to just enjoy my workouts and feel good about where I am at physically. I didn't place at the show, I got sixth in my height class. At first I was a bit bummed and somewhat frustrated feeling like some of those that had placed didn't have the 'figure' look but that they had only placed because of the politics of the industry (they looked more like bodybuilders but had been competing for some time and knew the judges). On Monday this feeling quickly left, and I was able to just be proud of my accomplishments and what I had done.

It's the final countdown! I am in the second day of 'peak week'. It has been a VERY interesting mental and emotional deal for me. Let me tell you about yesterday... yesterday I was in a state of euphoria most of the day, until about 4pm. I got home and was doing some figure show "research" on the internet and I kinda had what some would refer to as an out of body experience. This was sooooo odd - first of all what really happened was I had a mental disconnect with what I really looked like and what I thought I looked like. All of the sudden I felt like I look the way I did when I started my training back in January (awwww hell nah!) I got the nervous sweats and got all fidgety thinking that I wasn't ready! So I jumped up and ran down to the mirror in my room downstairs, took all my clothes off and then stood in amazement looking at myself. I even rubbed my eyeballs a little bit because I didn't even believe it was me! I was looking better than I remembered! For a second it was like I forgot what I looked like... so weird.

Last night I had a lot of anxiety, trying to calm myself down to go to sleep was quite a task. I just kept having these visualizations that I was too fat for my suit and my gut was hanging over my suit, etc. Even today I keep thinking I am fat again. Everytime I go to the bathroom I lift up my shirt to take a look and my abs and see if they are still there - why the heck is this happening to me?!?!?! I am experiencing body dysmorphia - NO!!! No, I won't let this happen!

This week is such a weird week... all along I thought to myself, "I can't wait until the last week" and now that it is here I don't want it to be here yet! What is wrong with me?! The other thing that is so weird about this week is that my training and diet are different. For an overview my training is much less rigorous than the weeks prior. Basically you are trying to "flush out the muscles" without inducing muscle damage (that could bring inflammation and retention of fluids). I actually stop working out Thursday morning and pretty much just hang out after that. I feel like I am slacking as far as the exercise is concerned. The food is a whole other issue... I am so overtrained that 1) I have no appetite and 2) any source of meat protein makes me dry-heave and gag. I am literally choking down my dry chicken and trying not to vomit all over myself (insert your own visual here). I am doing everything I can to get as much protein in body as I am supposed to but it is very hard! I have however, been able to eat some carbohydrates this week and that has been a god send! I have a whole new respect for oats and sweet potatoes, or "oatmeal cookies and candied yams" as they taste like to me right about now.

Lastly, I have my suit in my possession! I am planning on doing some posing this evening and will try and get some pics uploaded for ya'll to see (I know, I know... I keep saying that)! I will do my best, I can't sleep anyway so I might as well take some pics and post 'em.